That Day, 5 Years Ago

All of us have a defining moment that truly changes who we are, whether it be subtle changes or completely life altering. Some of us handle these changes better than others, some of us simply cannot cope. Often times, this even draws out the best in who we are and all we can be. For me, that happened when I lost my mother five years ago. Nothing stayed the same.

Growing up through a childhood without a father was hard enough, and the worst things could ever get, or so I thought. He was an abusive alcoholic, and was hardly ever home. As bad of a father he was, he was an even worse husband. Most of his time was spent with some other woman, and some other kid. So in a way, him leaving when I was six years old was a good thing, but the fact remained that I no longer had a father, that inspiring role every boy should have while growing up.

Then, when I was thirteen and finishing the last week of school, my life changed even more than I could have imagined before. I walked home from school that day because my mom never came to pick me up, nor would she answer the phone. I got more and more mad the closer I got to home, upset that I had to walk the not-actually-terrible distance from school back to my house. Then when I got closer, I came to the conclusion something worse might be going on. Sure enough, walking through the front door, I saw her in her chair, in front of the t.v., not moving or breathing. I was the first home, the first to find her, so I had the job of calling 9-1-1, followed by each of my brothers and sisters. As if that wasn't enough, I had to watch as each one walked through the front door, collapsing in tears and anguish, like it was a repeating movie I was being forced to watch. Each one tore me apart more and more, but I couldn't get away, I couldn't leave. I was the one who kept it together. I was the one who was strong, who talked, who kept things from being darker than they could have been.

That day changed my life more than everything else I've experienced put together. It is also when I had to be more than I knew I could be. I have never been as strong as I was that day. It taught me lessons I'll never forget and can apply to any situation in life, even college. I learned that you have to be resilient. If you aren't, life will eat you alive. You have to stay strong, you have to always look forward, and you have to do all you can to never let anything tear you down.

It may have been the most devastating day of my life, but it also taught me things I never knew before. It was the single day I was at my best. We all need to look at the worst things we've been through and take from them life's greatest lessons. Some of the most troubling times teach the most meaningful lessons we could ever learn. Whether we let them consume us, or learn from them, is our choice.